Heat, Passion, and Education

That is it!! I can’t stand the heat any longer! I feel like I’m melting… sweaty and sticky… I miss winter. I miss wearing coats and boots… oh my high heel boots, how I miss them… And It is going to be 100 + degrees for the coming days…

Recently my urge to draw seems to have returned. The outcome depends on the current mood I’m in. From each drawing I can remember how I felt at that moment. I wish I can find some kind of a profession that involves Art. But I know myself enough to know that as soon as I’m ‘ordered’ to do something, I get turned off. Something I learned during Art classes in high school. I really don’t know why. The more I get told to do something the harder I resist. Anyways, drawing, I started drawing Anime back when I was a freshman in high school after watching my first Anime, Sailor Moon. I still have the first drawing I have ever made. After that I moved to drawing portraits. I love drawing people, especially faces. But I can only draw women, I don’t know why, maybe because I started with Sailor Moon and most of the characters are female. Currently I’m obsessed with drawing more of Fashion Illustration type of drawings, to tie in my two passions… fashion & drawing.

I was registering for the fall semester thinking that I’m way early, hoping to find the classes I wanted, but no! Most of the teachers I wanted were full. I am just going to wait for an opening, I have a month. I’m getting closer to graduating, after that I can be an Accountant! Ha! I can’t even imagine it. Next semester is going to be difficult. I’m going to take two types of Accounting and three types of management classes. How fun! On top of that my grades have slipped after the previous semester and I have to keep up. I really don’t want to drop from the dean’s list and have to deal with my mother.

Love in reality and other rants

Well so much for the meeting… I didn’t get to go because my mother had a crisis and I had to help her and I moved the appointment to another day.

The one person I love unconditionally in this world is my mother. I really don’t think I could go on without her. She is the reason I do anything. My main goal in life is to make my mother happy. There are some days where we get into these fights where both of us (mostly her, I tend to shutdown and keep my anger inside… another issue for another day) say hurtful things to each other, but I have promised myself that no matter what I’ll never turn my back on my mother.

I think the purest form of love is between a parent and a child. I don’t know if other types of love truly exist in reality. Only in fantasies and fairytales. I would like to see someone prove me wrong. Anyways enough with the deep thoughts… lol.

Dear work friends: omg… please stop telling me endless, mundane, tales about this guy and that guy! I am sick of pretending to care about what you have to say, seriously, stop it! There. I said it. I feel better.

Onto other rants.

Yesterday, I took work off and my schedule was messed up so I really didn’t have anything to do. As a result I started messing around on my cell phone and one thing led to another… I ended up buying 20 dollars worth of ringers and screensavers! I am dreading the arrival of the next bill… I couldn’t help it, it felt so good!

It is official. I am an insomniac. I can’t sleep before three am. The hours between 1 and 4, is my internet time. That is when I catch up on emails, groups, blog, and fan fictions. I can’t sleep if I don’t do these things first. I rarely use the computer during the day time, unless it is for school stuff.


My song of the moment, Somnambulist (I had to look up this word) by my all time favorite artist BT.

So little time, so little time
I'm so frustrated
Some little joy, so little joy
It's complicated
So little time, so little time
To work it on out
So little joy, so little joy
It's complicated
I feel I'm stumbling in the dark
Somnambulated
I feel my heart seeking the sparks
I'm praying for love
Praying for love
Some little time, so little time
When your heart's been faded
So little hope, so little hope
I'm praying for love
Is more than enough
Simply being loved loved
Is more than enough
So little time, so little time
Be acclimated
So little hope, so little hope
And I'm prayin' now with love
So little time the pace has changed
But I'm still waiting
A thousand years of timeless days
Somnambulating
I'm stumbling wounded in the dark
But I'm praying still for love
Love love
Prayin for Love
Simply being loved loved
Is more than enough

Getting Closer

I am definitely a night owl. It is two o’clock and I can’t go to sleep. I took tomorrow off from work and I’m going to talk to my counselor about what classes I should take, since I’m getting closer to graduation. I have planed out my schedule for the year and I needed a little advice. But the last time I went to talk to an “advisor” which was about a year ago, all I got was a cold woman who didn’t seem to care about me. All I wanted was for someone to show some enthusiasm for their job, give some advice and encouragement. I am going to see a different person this time and we’ll see how it turns out.

One of those moments

I am having one of those days... Well actually late afternoons, I was feeling fine before... One of those afternoons that just makes me wonder if I am every going to make it in life, whatever that might be. Will I ever graduate college, get a career, a house, a life? It just seems like an eternity right now. I can't wait to see that day when I can truly feel the sense of accomplishment.